I screwed up
And snapped for all the wrong reasons. Had to take my eldest to school early as she is going on a residential trip. Great times. Except I had 4.5 hours sleep, broken. My back has been painful the last few days, but today its even worse and I can feel it grinding. And it was cold out. Why is it always cold out when you need it to be warm? Start to leave, eldest forgot to pack a towel. Sent her back. She then decided I could drag her suitcase. Whilst hurrying. Back very painful, now even worse. Got back, tired, cold, hurting and ended up snapping unfairly at S. And I feel terrible for it. I didn't mean for what I said to come out the way it did. I really am a terrible person. And I have no idea why she stays. I don't deserve her at all. She's going to leave one day, and I wouldn't blame her.