Sometimes

 I feel alone. 

I've spent so many years hiding how I feel. Not talking to anyone about issues, just getting on with it. 

Because that's what I do - just get on with it. No point in complaining, doesn't change anything, except I've voiced a complaint.

And then I get moaned at for saying I feel crap. Or I don't want to do something. Or I am struggling.

And at the moment I am really struggling. I'm struggling with not having a job. A lot. And I've tried to say how much it is affecting me and that I need a job. And it usually just gets turned in to a joke. 

Which really isn't helpful, and makes me just wish I hadn't bothered saying anything. Because I'm trying to have a serious conversation about my mental health, and it's just a joke. 

So I just won't say anything anymore. I shall just continue to do it alone. I'm not bothering anyone else with my problems that way. 

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